Valentine - Long Married Couples - Week 6 of #52Ancestors

 The theme for this week is Valentine. And I was totally stumped on what to write. I even thought about skipping this week - since I don't have any valentines or love letters from my ancestors, there aren't any men named Valentine in my family tree - and none of my ancestors strike me as the romantic type. Most of them are good solid farmers, who raised their family, and did their best to provide a better future for their children than they had. 

And then I thought about my great grandparents - Charles Joslin Call and Elizabeth Ann Coe, and both sets of their parents -  Robert Call and Charlotte Joslin, and Albert Coe and Deborah Prentice - and how long they were married. 

Were these great romances? Did they exchange cards and gifts on February 14 each year? I may never know - what I do know - is they all created partnerships that allowed them to raise their families on farms in Genesee County, New York. 

Albert Coe (1827-1907) and Deborah Prentice (1833-1910) were married on December 31, 1850 in Pavilion, Genesee County, New York. 

Deborah Prentice (1833-1910) and Albert Coe (1827-1907)

Photo courtesy of Marion Sperry Howe

Marion's blog with Coe photos is at https://mlsperry.blogspot.com/2020/07/coe-family-this-post-presents-pictures.html

According to a story told by their daughter Elizabeth, Albert and Deborah met in 1847 when Deborah started attending the District school Albert was attending. 

" Father was a big fellow of twenty going to district school, (he never went to any other, much to his regret,) when a girl of fourteen, a stranger, started to come to school one day. A cousin of father's, whom E.F. and I visited on a trip west in 1880-1, said that father said when he saw her "That's my wife!" When we told this to father he indignately retorted, "I didn't say any such thing. I said 'That's the girl for me' " She said when they began to tease her about Bert Coe, she would ask, "Which one is Bert Coe?" She always called him Albert."

Again according to family stories, Albert and Deborah loved each other very much

" A lady was vising Sarah once, when they, father and mother, were old people. Father told this lady something of his love story, and said that he loved her more and more as the years went by. He made some pretty remark about mother after she dressed for their Golden Wedding "As sweet as she was fifty years ago!" I am sorry I cannot recall exactly. The winter of his last illness he so wanted her by his side all the time, and could would turn with such a look of utter weariness to lay his head against her. Before he went away he said, "You won't be long, will you, Mother?" In their old age, they used a playful wit and humor and badinage with each other that was most charming, but I doubt if I could reproduce it in writing, even if I could remember it. " 

Albert and Deborah were married for 57 years. They celebrated their Golden Wedding Anniversary with a party on December 31, 1900. 

 

Robert Call (1831-1913) and Charlotte Joslin (1834-1908) were married on July 16, 1854 in Fitchburg, Massachusetts, just six weeks after Charlotte arrived at the port of Boston. I don't know how Robert and Charlotte met, but I do know they knew each other in England. in 1851, Robert Call and Charlotte Joslin were both enumerated in the English census living and working as servants on the farm of Richard Reed in Chawleigh, Devonshire. Charlotte was a domestic servant, Robert a farm laborer. 

That same year, on May 27, according to a family story, Robert gave Charlotte a copy of Pilgrim's Progress. Charlotte's birthday was May 25, so perhaps it was a birthday present. The copy of Pilgrim's Progress was one of the items Charlotte brought with her when she immigrated, and I'm lucky enough to have the book. 

Robert arrived Philadelphia on March 22, 1853 with his brother William. Shortly thereafter, he moved to the Boston area, where Charlotte's brother William was living after immigrating in 1852. Charlotte Joslin, her sister Ann, and Charlotte Blackmore, William Joslin's fiance all arrived in Boston on May 31, 1854.

Robert and Charlotte lived in the Boston area for a few years, then moved to Genesee County, New York where Robert's uncle had settled in Stafford. After first living in Elba, by 1863, Robert and Charlotte were living in Stafford, where they lived for the remainder of their lives, raising their three surviving children Albert Henry, Charles Joslin and Elizabeth Alberta.

Robert and Charlotte were married for 54 years. They celebrated their Golden Anniversary with a large celebration for friends and family. 

My great grandparents Charles Joslin Call (1859-1939) and Elizabeth Ann Coe (1862-1956) married on November 5, 1884 at Elizabeth's parents home in Le Roy, Genesee County. I'm not sure when or where they met - while I have copies of the first and third volumes of Elizabeth's Family Memories, I don't have the middle section which covers 1884-1934. 

When they would have met, Charles and his family were living in Stafford, Genesee County, while Elizabeth and her family were living in Le Roy, just a few miles away. They both attended Le Roy Academy, Charles a few years before Elizabeth, she may have attended at the same time as Charles' sister Elizabeth Alberta Call. Both families were active in their churches, and in agricultural and temperance organizations. Both Elizabeth and Charles were active in local literary societies in their towns. 

These photographs probably date from around the time of their marriage.

While the Memories I've read don't talk much about their personal relationship, some comments written about the months after Charles' death in June 1939, showed how his loss affected Elizabeth. 

Writing in November about a trip to see her daughter Evelyn

"Visited at Evelyn's. I dreaded the trip going alone, as I never have traveled alone much in my whole life. I have never made the trip to Evelyn's since Charles' death that my eyes have not dimmed repeatedly, at the feeling of the companionship I have lost. Otherwise I enjoyed the trip."

And then in December about the tradition of sending cards and photos at Christmas

"I sent no cards. Charles was always so interested in sending, and receiving, that I felt I could not send any this year, when he had helped me so much before. Sarah wrote I am sure you miss Charles very much this time of year especially, but I have a feeling that he is not far from you." I have cried more that last few days than any week since Charles went. The Christmas cards with their kind and sympathetic sentiments are more than I can stand. "

 

Charles and Elizabeth were married for 54 years. The celebrated their Golden Wedding Anniversary with a party on November 5, 1934. 

And the tradition of long marriages has continued in my family

My grandparents were married for 42 years until my grandmother's death.

My parents were married for 51 years until my father's death. 

So at only 32 years of marriage, my husband and I have a ways to go to catch up with many of the members of my family.